My blog My rules.

2010-01-16T03:12:00.001+08:00

this was one of the very few special occasions whereby im in town, town meaning from Le meridian all the way down to tanglin, plaza sing to marina square is called city.

2010-01-09T04:45:00.002+08:00

pretty uh? i thought it was just 2 stitches each, turns out it's 6 stitches all together. ;D

and pls, don't ask. i was in a car accident and i don't know how i got cut or what cut me, i got out of the fking car and realised i was bleeding like 2mins ltr. the windscreen wasn't shattered. there wasnt any sharp object either.

Passerby : boy, your elbow bleeding leh.
Me : huh? oh, small cut la, my friend more worse now. (he's on the ground, he's hip bone hit the steering wheel as we spun close to 360degrees.)
Passerby : oh, i thought you wasnt aware of it.
Me : haha, i'm okay. thanks.

Paramedic 1 : (attends to my elbow) hey, you wna go to the hospital to see a doc or something for your elbow?
Me : uhh, nvm la, i tink it's ok, just go back and wash.
Paramedic 1 : hmm. okay...

5mins later... after they stretchered my friend into the ambulance.

Paramedic 2 : okay guys, i need 1 for you to follow him to the hospital.
Me : (looks at friends.) how?
Friends : (looks back at me) don't know.
Paramedic 2 : the closest guy.
Me : ok i go lo.. you guys call me if there's anything. (i was in the same primary sch and secondary sch at that friend who was hospitalized.)

On the ambulance.. in the front seat.

Paramedic 1 : ok sir, let me just look at your elbow ya?
Me : ok, sure.
Paramedic 1 : hmm, tink you're gna need some stitches.
Me : HUH? it's that deep?!
Paramedic 1 : ya, as you can see, it's kinda flapping. (open and closes my wound as i looked at it)
Me : O_O wow.
Paramedic 1 : ya.. i thought you didn't want to see a doctor.
Me : oh.. i accompany my friend here ma.
Paramedic 1 : haha okay, lucky you came.

and it was sirens and speeding from changi village back to the hospital... meanwhile they were checking my pulse and all..

2010-01-08T02:43:00.002+08:00

this is bad, think my brain's getting slower.
i have to stare into the monitor for like at least 5mins each time i wna blog.
i got into an accident last nite, 2 lacerations on my right elbow,
1.5cm and 1cm respectively, 2 stitches each, like ouch.

ORD's coming real soon, and i still have doubts bout the sign on thing..
i'll be missing out on lots of things if i sign on but this is something i like to do and the pay's not that bad actually... sigh.

P.s i love your eyes.

2010-01-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

i wish i knew how to make you smile.
i wish i know how to make you mine.

2010-01-03T15:56:00.002+08:00

mum when i get into ADF, don't blame me when i chose to get deployed in iraq or afgan for 2years. i fucking hate you k? dun worry, i will ask Dad NOT to come back, you fucking bully.

2010-01-03T04:24:00.002+08:00

just finished watching the hurt locker.
dun wna touch much on the movie itself but it really enlightened me.

if you really love or love to do something,
even the most impt things in the world wouldnt stop you.

now there's 2 things i love or love to do in this world.

1. *Army
2. My girl( whoever she may be, i'm single now.)

P.s * needs more explanation.

2010-01-02T02:34:00.004+08:00

ya, here's one thing for you.
i may love you, but i don't think i wna be with you anymore,

3 times.. and 3 times you broke my heart.
3 times, i was stupid.
3 times, i was bitten but every time i sit down heartbroken, and think bout it, i find the goodness in you.
and i tell myself "it's ok" let's try again.

i just don't get it, you can talk to every other guy nicely but not me.
every other guy can call you msn you and text you and just ask you out like that,
but i can't. i hate it.

i just want my iPod back, and yes. the iPod touch is worth much more then you, it won't break my heart.

2010-01-01T20:16:00.002+08:00

as the clock ticked 12 and the fireworks filled the midnight sky, i felt a sense of sadness passing thru for the greatest year has passed.. i didn't want 2009 to end.

i've went overseas 4 times, brunei, taiwan, australia and msia. i've done countless things, i've completed tasks that i never i would be able to complete, and the best thing is, i've done what many of you can't.

i'm single this past year and im enjoying it, not that i dun want to have a girlfriend but.. why tie yourself down? well maybe i'll try to get a gf this year.

hopefully 2010 would be a great year too.

2009-12-16T03:45:00.001+08:00

i havent been sleeping alot lately.

2009-12-11T13:57:00.003+08:00

ok finally decided to blog...

i applied to join ADF.
went for the first interview already.. hopefully they'll call me back soon.

people ask me why. and i gave alot of answers...
my mum asked me why ADF? i told her..

i rmb when i was young. everytime i looked at soldiers. they made me feel safe. they make me feel happy, the soldiers always smiled back at me. everything's different when you're in the uniform, people look at you from a different angle, they believe what the soldier says, it becomes quite stressful sometimes, in public, you gotta maintain the image of a soldier... in the train or bus, give up the seat to the elderly, that's why i always stand even when there's a 1 or 2 seats infront of me, unless there's like ample seats.

when i walk arnd in uniform small kids will be like, "mummy mummy, look, a soldier."

so now, i guess it's my turn to be the soldier in the kids' hearts... everyone's doing their part.
somebody has to do it. so why not me?

well that's just one of the many answers i gave.

2009-12-02T02:46:00.001+08:00

so.. hey people, IF there's people still visiting my blog.

here's my new blog link

2009-10-24T11:39:00.001+08:00

she wants the wedding car to be a bike, it's gna be a ducati 1198, a red one.
the pastor to be wearing a pooh suit, >< i'll try to make it happen.
she wants to see stars, i'll find the best spot..

2009-10-18T01:35:00.002+08:00

probably the last post before i fly to Australia.
i don't have much to write actually..
just that umm scb.. i love you. i'll be back for you real soon.
wait for me. 13th nov, 3am, Changi airport, T3.

2009-10-17T01:22:00.001+08:00

it was nice to see you, it was even better to hold you.
now i want you... more then ever.

2009-10-13T06:42:00.001+08:00

i wna hug you and hold your hand again.
this time, im gna kiss you first.

2009-10-11T17:15:00.002+08:00

a leopard never changes it's spots.

2009-10-10T14:31:00.003+08:00

i don't want to be a substitute.
i don't want to make the same mistakes.
i don't want to say something stupid and hurt you.
i don't want to keep sending msgs to you and calling you and in the end, i'm labeled "irritating"

they always say, let go of the thing you love, and if he/she/it comes back, it's your's to keep, so i'm letting you go now... when i come back from Australia and you still wna be with me.. you're mine to keep. ily.

2009-10-10T03:55:00.001+08:00

why did you call in the afternoon?

2009-10-10T01:48:00.002+08:00

saying nothing is better then saying something stupid.

2009-10-04T21:10:00.002+08:00

this is the end, it's inevitable.

2009-10-01T18:02:00.002+08:00

this last week before you're free..
i'm still not quite sure what's your definition of irritating
but if i do it wrong again.. guess it's really the end.

Je t'aime.

2009-10-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

2009-09-30T04:28:00.003+08:00

here's to no name from the tagboard.

what's wrong with blogging bout my ex girlfriends?
i like to blog about my what happened between my girl and i when we were together.
from the day i laid eyes on her and till the day my heart died for her...
is falling in and out of love easily call being a flirt?

read carefully before you call me a hongster, a flirt or whatever you call it.

i rmb clearly that i've never ever two timed a girl before nor loved another girl when i had a girlfriend.

please define a hongster in your own words please, in my tag board. im interested to hear your point of view...

2009-09-29T00:59:00.003+08:00

GRATS! 400th post.

so many girls have passed by.
but none of them did what you've done,
you stole my heart.

i should really stop thinking those post are for me,
i know it isint for me.

i should really start letting you go now,
time isint really on my side and im still making you angry every single fucking time...

i'm really hoping that you'll tell me you'll wait for me before i fly to australia,
and i'm really really hoping that when i come back from australia.. you would be mine again.

i don't wna think that you'll be mine again and i don't wna think that you won't be mine also.

ILY. ILY. I LOVE YOU.

2009-09-28T20:02:00.002+08:00

399th post.

when you post things like i can't forget you.
will you still be mine..
i'm still waiting for you
or the other sweet sweet stuff.

it's hard not to think that maybe you're refering to me..
but then again when i think back..
you have so much hate for me.
how can it possibly be referring to me?

2009-09-28T16:08:00.003+08:00

so anyways.

My mind and everybody else says - find a normal girl.

My heart says - she, is what i want. and they always say, follow your heart.
another special friend of mine says, continue, you've come so far... you've been through so much shit to get here. Don't you dare say you're gna give up.

I say - i love you. jiayu. more then anything else in this world. im working very hard on not saying stupid stuff to you. but the more i try the more i seem to be hurting you.. i dun wna irritate you anyway. i dun wna make you angry. i mean really.. who would want to irritate someone and make them angry? and fuck, i only have 1wk and 2 days left... im really fucked.

2009-09-28T11:55:00.000+08:00

with just a blink of an eye... i been thru ex Lancer in brunei,
Ex. starlight in taiwan. and now Ex wallaby is Australia from oct 18.

2009-09-28T02:16:00.003+08:00

you know.. seriously..
i dun really care if you hate me.. or you love me.
i just wna show you that i really really love you.

it has been a really long day.. and i barely had some rest.
girl, i apologise for being a dick.
but everything i did or say was with you in mind.
everything i did, i did it for you,
everything i say, is cos of you.

2009-09-28T02:07:00.002+08:00

i endure and accept and cover up all the shit you throw to me..
all i ask for is you to be more lenient with what i say...

2009-09-28T01:19:00.003+08:00

subconcious to noel :
EHH CCB LA NOEL CHUA.
DUN EVERYTIME DO LAN JIAO DAIJI CAN?
EVERYTHING OK LIAO DEN SAY LANJIAOWEI MAKE HER ANGRY.
ALWAYS HAPPENS LEH...NABEICHEEBYE...
YOU BETTER WAKE UP YOUR FUCKING IDEA BEFORE SHE REALLY RUNS AWAY
WHILE YOU'RE IN AUSTRALIA. YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER LOVE YOU. YOU DUN WNA GO TO AUSTRALIA WITH A BROKEN HEART. OR COME BACK AND HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN WHEN YOU HEAR THE NEW OF SHE AND SOME OTHER GUY. NOEL CHUA EN YU OR DI YU AS WHAT SHE SAYS.. THIS IS THE FINAL CHANCE FOR YOU AND HER... YOU FUCKING TOLD HER YOURSELF THAT THIS IS THE FINAL TIME.. AND SHE FUCKING GAVE YOU HER HEART. WHY MUST YOU BREAK IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN? YOU DUMB OR YOU STUPID?

2009-09-27T13:47:00.001+08:00

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aint either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking of you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. " -Bob Marley

P.s got this from karen's blog.

2009-09-22T15:51:00.003+08:00

i nvr fail to piss you off everytime.
and it'll take weeks for you to forget bout it.

and this time it's such a crucial time,
and somehow i fucked it up. BIG TIME.

it's another 2 weeks to october 8th.
i don't know what your answer would be but
right now.. i know it's a no with a capital N.

i'll show you that i really trust you and
i'll show you i can think before talking..

it's not alot of time but i'll show you.

and people do slip abit..
it's been a long while since i said something so fucked up to you.
and i'm really sorry i did.
i swear it won't happennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn again.
like i promised that i won't scold you cb.

i seriously don't know how to make you happy
but i'll try. wo zhen de zhen de hen ai ni.

sighsssssssss

2009-09-21T14:35:00.002+08:00

sylvia told me i wooed girls cos i like the challenge only..
and after i get the girl.. it's the end of the story..

i beg to differ. i woo the girl cos i like her..
i wna be tgt with her.
and ya.. maybe i like the challenge of getting her..

explains why i don't wna give you up...
but i seriously love you.

we haven't really spoke for the past 24hrs..
im really missing your voice nw.
im really hoping you'll send "corme"
whether is it to scold me or what..
i just wna hear your voice.
sigh...

2009-09-20T21:51:00.002+08:00

i seriously don't know why do i keep thinking of the past..
why did my mind think of that...
you've already given me part of your heart but i was just too blind to see
and too stupid to get the other half..
oh my gawdddddddddddddd.

2009-09-19T02:37:00.001+08:00

song for you.

2009-09-18T00:27:00.004+08:00

i keep looking at your photos but for what?
you won't come back to me just by me looking at your photos.

i looked at your photos and wondered..
is it really worth it?

i looked into your eyes and asked..
is this the pair of eyes you wna look into..

i looked at your face and thought..
is this the face you wna kiss...

i looked at your lips and pondered.
is the the lips you wna hear from...

then i looked at myself and said.

yes, that's the pair of eyes i wna stare into all day long.
yes, that's the cheek i wna feel.
yes, that's the lips i wna hear from and that's the lips i wna kiss.

I love her.

2009-09-17T16:20:00.003+08:00

i have nvr loved someone to this extent.
i love you so much, why can't you see?
i love you so much, why must you do stupid things to me?
i love you so much, please come back to me.
i love you so much, but you hate me just as much.

2009-09-17T03:12:00.001+08:00

i trust you, it's just a game.

2009-09-16T22:01:00.002+08:00

你说过，我们在一起你觉得会久吗？你感肯定你不会偷情？ 每个男人都是一样
的。多多少少也回偷情一点。但我想告诉你，我有了那么多女朋友、没有一次偷过
情。我只单单爱一个女孩。我也会单单的爱你一个。直到永远。

我说过、我不像你认识的那些男孩一样。

2009-09-16T02:39:00.004+08:00

everyone called me crazy
everyone said that i was mad

but all i said was
" i love her " i don't know why, but i just do.
" it's the last time" i lied, cos i know it's won't be.

she's cute.
she's funny.
she's always bored.
she's always tired.
she's not the chioest girl around.
she's not the prettiest girl either.
she's a computer idiot.
she's short.

she has a round round face.
she cuts her hair and then make tons of noise and regret cutting it ltr.
she has lots of guy friends with make me feel really insecure.
she texts alot of other people but chose to talk to me on the phone most of the time.
she has a lousy attitude.
she screams at me all the time.
she like's to threaten me by saying she's gna severe ties with me.
she like's to say she's gna whack me.
she like's to say she's gna treat me her fist.
she won't let me see her when she doesn't have make up on.
she can't leave the house without make up.
she hates me cos im always bugging her with "who" questions.
she makes me happy with im feeling sad.
she lightens my burden when im feeling down.
she extinguishes the fire within me when im angry or frustrated.

she's my happy ball, she's my -x3meowmeow, she's the one i love now.
she's my all, she's all that matters, she's my her.

she's jiayu.

2009-09-15T10:52:00.002+08:00

when you were heartbroken, i was there.
when I was heartbroken, you were never here.

so i said i would be your kor..
but deep inside i was hesitating.
i didn't wna be your kor at all..
i wanted to be your boyfriend still.

so we quarreled over what happened.
and you said you didnt talk to me anymore.
i gave you a choice to think it over..
We remained it contact.

so i confessed everything to you again.
that it was really torturing to be your kor.
i really wanted you back very badly.
i don't know why.

you told me we'll see how things go for this one month.
that was 11-09-2009

2009-09-13T20:31:00.004+08:00

恩育♥嘉玉

2009-09-13T20:14:00.000+08:00

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find some clever
lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening
gets late
And I'm alone with you

The time is right
Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I love you...

2009-09-13T20:12:00.000+08:00

你一天没把他的照片拿下，就是你一天还爱着他。

2009-09-13T03:42:00.001+08:00

i never gave up on you.
i never left you.
i never un-loved you.

all i ask for is your heart to be mine, truthfully.
for you to be there when i need you,
and i be there when you need me.
i need to know where you are so incase if there's anything i can be there...
and finally...
you to love me. and only me.

2009-09-13T03:28:00.002+08:00

i wna blog..
but there's really nothing much to blog about.
except maybe ex Seahawk..
just super tired luh..

and maybe bout you..
you know who yar..
anyways ya...
yalor.. i'll just keep it short.
aini. yibeizhi (:

and sorry bout this afternoon..
i went to slp and left my phone outside.
WHY? YOU CAN PIG I CANNOT PIG AR? :x

2009-09-05T17:09:00.002+08:00

i remember now... when a girl says no.. it really means no.
she doesnt hide her feelings and isnt afraid to show.

when i asked if the sweet sweet posts are for me.. you said no. i thought you were joking.
now i know it's for real..

i guess i figured it out.. im just like the other guys..
i figured out you told us all the same stuff..
i firgured out im just a subsitute..
you only look for me when you're super bored and when nobody meets you.

xian jiayu.. i love you so much.. why must you always do this to me?
if what i write above is wrong.. prove it to me..

2009-09-04T23:11:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling really sick these few days...
the phelgm is like..omg.
really sucks to be sick...
umm... ya big assed outfield coming up AND I NEEDA BOOK IN TMR NIGHT!
FKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFKFK!

My dearest meowmeow,
woaini.
you know... i wna believe that this is the way you love someone.
and even though you put me through hell and all..
you talk to other guys.. hang up my phone..
you love for me is real.

you're so very special.
so different from the other girls i know..
i love you so much XJY...

AND I FINALLY PASSED FUCKING PRAC 5!

2009-09-04T03:25:00.003+08:00

meow meow darlin...
im sorry..
all i do is make you angry
and make you bored..
i dunno how to entertain you.
im sorry i cant be a perfect bf for you..
im a dumbass i know..
im idiotuc.
im childish.
i dunno how to trust you.

but i just want you to know.
i love you.

2009-08-30T02:56:00.001+08:00

i just super love you now..
your eyes just melts my heart...
your voice soothes my pain..
and my burdens just seem to go away...

2009-08-29T20:30:00.001+08:00

you always said to nvr leave you...
i nvr did.. and i never will.

2009-08-29T15:14:00.003+08:00

you ask why i wna be with you.

cos you're super nice at times.
you're sweet sometimes.
you're funny also..
sometimes your attitude stinks..
sometimes you make me super stressed and worried..
and times you make me mad.
the list goes on and on
but
you're all that i ever wanted.

you're balanced out..
not too sweet, will get diabetes
not too sour, too acidic
not too bitter, seriously who in the right mind would put something bitter in their mouth?
and nt too salty, will get high blood pressure.
just nice.

ok.. all these just doesnt make sense... -____-

2009-08-28T14:15:00.002+08:00

SIM KAH YOK!! I LOVE YOU! AND I REALLY DO!

2009-08-17T20:59:00.001+08:00

tell me that you still have feelings for me..
tell me i still have a chance to be with you..
tell me that you're just angry for the moment...
tell me that you still love me.

i cry and cry and cry... but what's the use.

2009-08-17T18:54:00.002+08:00

after all that i've done.. all that i've wrote... all that i said..
you still choose someone else over me..

i was so happy when you suddenly said that you liked the dark skin guy who has thick eyebrows who stays in hougang..

well... happy for nothing le..

2009-08-17T15:34:00.001+08:00

... you never fail to bring me up to the highest
and never fail to drop me back down...

2009-08-17T03:24:00.006+08:00

remember the time we went to the drain? when you held me so tightly cos you didnt wna step on the grass? and there were ants all around? where we just sat there and spoke rubbish..

remember the time when i met you at the airport after my dental appointment? we went to tampines for lunch and den sent you to sch even when you're still on mc?

remember the time when we were supposed to watch the haunting at connecticut? when i brought my big big bag with all my stuff in it? and i suggested to take the mrt but we took the bus down to vivo city instead? which you later said that we should have took the train down and i said i told you.. but you didnt hear -__- we rushed to the cinema but there were no time slots suitable for us?
and then i booked the "ghost" movie muderer...

and all those posts you wrote bout me...

gosh.. guess things changed after SOMEBODY popped up.. you started showing attitude.. i didn't like it.. i tried to contain my unhappiness but i guess abit came out.. and things went into a downward spiral..

now that you're in love with someone else.... and not me...

when you're in a relationship..you're bound to quarrel sometime or another.. big or small..
people make mistakes.. people change.. people forgive.. people forget...

like.. hello.. havent i done enough or havent i wrote enough to prove to you that i really love you? or to be given a chance? seriously ask around... and show the others.. and see what would people say? should i or should i now be given a chance? or to be forgiven? Im not saying that you MUST follow what they say.. but please use them as a guide as to whether or not i should be forgiven or given a chance... cos the person who has the final say is you..

you hate me.

2009-08-17T02:59:00.003+08:00

why do you hate me that much?
you don't tell me anything...
how would i ever know?
how would i ever change?

ya right... sister.

2009-08-16T23:43:00.002+08:00

ENGLISH TRANSLATION.

to tell you the truth.. i hate you, but i love you much much more den i hate you.
why won't you listen to me in the first place? who won't you trust me? why didn't you wna go out with me? if you had..all these wouldnt have happened.

I HATE myself for leaving, i HATE myself for letting him go when i had the chance to give it to him.
i HATE myself for letting him go scot free. I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU.

The pain that you're going through..you think i don't know bout it? I'm human to, i feel the same way you do.. if not even more painful. but there's nothing i can do.. all i can do is stand aside and look as everything happens before my own eyes. but i swear i will accompany you through this dark times.. and im willing to walk with you for the rest of my life.. but that's unless you're willing to walk with me.

I'm was thinking.. all that i've done.. all my love shown to you.. isint enough? i know im super irritating at times cos i ask tons of stupid questions.. but it's all cos i care.. im concerned bout you.

i love you, i really do. If i could hold you again, i would never let you go, i'll love you with all my heart and soul.. and i'll never let you go, every again. swear never to make you sad again.. no tears shall be shed and no pain will be felt.

i wna hold you in my arms and tell you im sorry...i love you. i regret my every action.. it's just stupid and dumb of me.. i never should have told you bout finna, tested your love, tested your loyalty to me.. all i wanted was to see your reaction but the pimple became a volcano and killed us..

All i ask for now is your forgiveness and you to forget what happened but i guess it's not that easy now that so much shit has happened.. all i can do now is wait for your return..

i felt like giving you up so much the past few days.. but i DON'T want to be just another ex of your's. i was walking home just now and i thought of my ORD date.. and realised it's 4 days b4 valentines' and i rmb you saying that next valentines' you MUST have a boyfriend to celebrate it with.. and i said i want to be that guy..

2009-08-15T21:14:00.009+08:00

说真的我是真的很恨你。。。但是我爱你比恨你艮多很多。为什么你就是不听我的

话和我出去。如果和我出去，这件事就不会发生。我们恨我自己让你离开。我们恨

我自己为什么没有打他。我很恨我自己因为我爱你，你的痛难道我不知道吗？我也

是人，你痛我艮痛因为我只能在旁边看。我什么都做不了。但是我会陪你走过这段

路. 我也愿意陪你走一身。我一致在想，我给你的爱不够吗？我知道我有时问很多

无聊的问题，但是都是因为我关心你，我在乎你. 我有时也若你生气因为我的态度

有的时候很差。我真的真的很爱你，如果我能抱你，我不会放手。如果能回到你身

边我不会离开你，我也不会在让你走。我会好好的爱你。不会在让你伤心. 我很想

抱着你说声我爱你和对不起。我很后悔我的动作，但我知道你很难原谅我。我现在

只能可以等你原谅我等你回来。

2009-08-14T02:51:00.001+08:00

this song's specially for you.. says everything. It's korean i know. there's subtitles in it.

the late night and the rain is pouring down
I keep seeing your face in my head repeatingly.
Come back. Hold back. Baby.
It's never gonna be the same again
I know that it's hurting me inside
And nothing's gonna change the way it is.
But baby.
You got me.
Just please stop.
You got me.

I can't seem to find the happiness in me
Oh no I threw it all away
I think I'm going crazy

I want you
I need you
Can we come back to us
Come back
Don't fool me
Say the word and I'll be right there

I'm so sorry but I love you, I just can't lie
Oh I was so wrong, I can't live without'you
(Please listen to me!)
I'm so sorry but I love you now I realize
Shoulda never let you go away - cuz now my life don't seem right
I'm so sorry but I love you, I just can't lie
I'm so sorry (sorry) but I love you (I love you more and more)
I'm so sorry but I love you now I see my...
thinkin' was all a big mistake, it makes me cry to this day

Can you hear my words that are poured out here for you, for you
(Those words that are kept between us)
Hey I saw I seen everything that has broken in two
Just let it go right now

Picked up the paper
Picked up the pen
Wrote the love letter and messed it in my hands
Left me alone and left me to cry
Without even letting me see you one time
(I'm tryin to let go the pain in my heart)
Just let me let me kiss you one last time

I'm so sorry but I love you, I just can't lie
Oh I was so wrong, I can't live without'you
(Please listen to me!)
I'm so sorry but I love you now I realize
Shoulda never let you go away - cuz now my life don't seem right
I'm so sorry but I love you, I just can't lie
I'm so sorry (sorry) but I love you (I love you more and more)
I'm so sorry but I love you now I see my...
thinkin' was all a big mistake, it makes me cry to this day

Tell me it's all in my head
I try with every single beat of my heart
No matter what my mind recalls
I see your face 'n I know, that'chu will always be there
Just wanna know how ya doin' these days
Didn't mean, to cause you any pain
I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry but I love you, I just can't lie
Oh I was so wrong, I can't live without'you
(Please listen to me!)
I'm so sorry but I love you now I realize
Shoulda never let you go away - cuz now my life don't seem right
I'm so sorry but I love you, I just can't lie
I'm so sorry (sorry) but I love you (I love you more and more)
I'm so sorry but I love you now I see my...
thinkin' was all a big mistake, it makes me cry to this day

2009-08-14T01:43:00.002+08:00

i hate myself for telling you when finna texted.

i hate myself for not thinking before saying.

i hate myself for everything that is now.

the worst thing is,

I HATE MYSELF FOR LETTING YOU GO

2009-08-13T17:10:00.003+08:00

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

the more i look at your photos the more angry i get..
it's like OMG FUCK YOUUUU
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MY GOD.. I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH..

2009-08-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

I wanted to die when you screamed BREAK LO when your friend asked bout us.. But anyways it's nice to know that your feelings for me hasn't exactly faded all away and it's even better to know that you're doing all there for the sake of us...it's nice that we didn't quarrel at all. Hopefully it'll continue this way after Monday when you tell me your answer and den again I'm really really hoping that you'll come back to me... I love you so much...

2009-08-11T10:50:00.001+08:00

i don't tink i'll be writing anything on this post..
but just that i really really want to back..
it will be like that from now on i promise..

Im sorry i wanted you to be what i wanted you to be..
i should love you for who you are.. who i love alot just that i didnt know how to appreciate.

tell me that you're not going to leave.
and that you just need some time to cool down and forget what happened.
otherwise you wouldnt have texted or asked me to call..
correct me if im wrong.. but i really wna know.

2009-08-11T02:08:00.001+08:00

i miss your voice.

i miss your rantings.

i miss your hair.

i miss your ball face.

i miss your ling ling long long bracelet.

i miss your hand.

i miss you smiling into anything that has your reflection.

i miss you talking rubbish to me.

i miss talking to you all the time when im free.

i miss talking to you till you sleep.

i miss you saying that you're super sian.

i miss you calling me lai en yu.

i miss seeing you playing with your hair.

i miss you not standing still.

i miss you not sitting still.

i miss getting scolded when i say i wna go bath.

i miss you saying i buah tio sai.

i miss you saying you're gna treat me eat tou xie.

i miss the xiao lian you are.

i miss the guai kia you are.

i wna hold your file after sch for you.

i wna go to the movies with you.

i wna go eat swensens with you.

i wna eat fish and co. with you.

i miss Trina Sim Kah Yok / Xian Jia yu / My girlfriend.

I LOVE YOU.

2009-08-10T21:26:00.002+08:00

at least you're nt hard on to break up now..
hopefully by the end of this one week you'll take me back..
everything there's to say i've already said..
everything there's to do.. i already did.

i really don't know what else to say or what else to do but to wait for you...

2009-08-10T11:30:00.003+08:00

everything's just going down... it's bad..
i'm losing my girlfriend...

her phone dropped and the hearing part is spoilt and her battery was flat too.
i tried calling and she didnt seem to hear me soon after she turned off her phone..
i was pretty pissed cos i didnt know she dropped her phone and for the past few days
we were quarrelling quite alot and she was also pissed with me. that's why i thought she was doing all these on purpose. so in a fit of anger i told her to stop doing all these things to piss me off.. im really sick of quarreling with you.. and i mean im really really tired of quarrelling.. i want us to be happy...

i felt pretty stupid after sending that.. it was really bad.. and i tink it made her even more angrier..

im really sorry baby... i need you.. dont leave me..

2009-08-09T17:05:00.002+08:00

RAWRRRRRRR! this is driving me insane.
honey please tell me what's wrong..
i really don't know what's happening.
tell me please please please..
i dun wan history to repeat itself..
you store everything inside one one day when it reaches to limit.
BOOM! friggin volcano explode..
GRRRRRRRR why wont you reply my msgs....

2009-08-09T14:57:00.004+08:00

i rmb when i first fell for you.. My first ever facebook status update bout you was when you were out with your sisters all day long and you never replied or called back...i felt pretty stupid cos we weren't even close. we just practically spoke rubbish to each other.

And when the first time we met, i was unsure that whether or not you would meet me again, i was afraid i might never see you again. i wanted to see you.. i needed to see you..

When we got together, i wasnt sure if we would last, but i tried to make the best out of it.
Like what you said, to make a relationship last.. it depends on both parties.. it takes two hands to clap. I WANTED us to happen, to work out and now im afraid to lose you..

till this day my love for you have never ever ever faded,
i love you like every other day.. Rain or shine. whether you were sweet sour bitter or spicy.

Girlfriend, i love you.

Oh girl, i cry, you're my all.
oh my love, please don't lie, you're my her, Don't ever say goodbye.

2009-08-09T13:56:00.003+08:00

enjoy you day out with dad ya? love ya :D
i'll be waiting for your call.

2009-08-07T19:41:00.000+08:00

wanted to give it to you today.. but you didnt wna meet up. so ya.

2009-08-07T19:04:00.000+08:00

we got bored.

2009-08-07T14:39:00.002+08:00

grey red orange yellow blue green purple brown.

na bibi got colour le. heheh

2009-08-06T19:57:00.003+08:00

im booking in again. wtf.

2009-08-05T03:11:00.003+08:00

OK. like omgwtfbbq.com/im_finally_out_of_camp.
2wks of Ex Sb a short break and then 2ntm. it's taking it's toll..
im tired, the company is very tired, we're all tired.
though all we do everyday is practically sleep, but it's the mental part,
you don't know when you're gna get activated, you don't know when you're gna get turned out.

i didnt dare to take off my boots and pants like i used to. i didnt dare to take a shower, i didnt even dare to sleep but alas i succumbed to the tiredness and slept.

We were all very very bored in there, we've seen weird things when people are bored, example - two guys chasing each other with a kettle of hot water. lol.

Girlfriend oh girfriend, i miss you so.
if i ORD im afraid i would feel lost, i Dont know what to do, to study or to work?
if your probation ends you would be running around all the time.
i wish i could go out with you everyday but since you say you dun wna den so be it,
i respect your decision and ya it's true too if we meet up everyday, we'll get bored of each other really quick...
We'll watch the sunrise and sunset when you're a free girl again,
we'll count stars together late at night till you fall asleep in my arms.
We'll go to where ever you wna go.

i guess im damn lucky to have a girlfriend like you who wants me to call like everytime when im free. it's good and bad at the same time... so i won't get super bored while in camp but at the same time, i can't get enough sleep like the past when i didnt have her, but ya, shouldnt complain bout that, thx darlin for "entertaining" me. xD

i love you so much.

2009-07-12T21:08:00.001+08:00

love you darlin.
always. till the sun dun shine, till the words dun rhyme.

2009-07-12T14:52:00.001+08:00

On this day of your life, Noel, we believe God wants you to know...
... that every little part of you is magical.

Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''

Note the words in bold.
yup, my heart hurts cos im not seeing you.. and still i love you.

2009-07-12T00:10:00.002+08:00

Nike T5 zoom, NikeTotal 90 2, brooks hydrowflow (ns pt shoe), Lotek dunno what, adidas primero, puma, globe skateshoe, T90 shoot(street soccer shoe), nike free 5.0, white leather converse, Nike air, rip curl slippers, white dopies, teva sandals. scary... so many shoes..

2009-07-11T23:29:00.001+08:00

I didnt mean those nasty things i said..
i was really anxious.. i really wanted to see you..
i love you, i really do. i dun wna lose you either...

2009-07-11T17:46:00.008+08:00

if you're wondering, ya, im pissed, very.

Like wth la.. very hard to reply meh?
if you wna spend the day with your friend..
just say so..
if you dun wna meet me just say so..
i've been waiting one whole day like an idiot..
I mean at least tell me where you are la..
i'm sitting infront of my com anxiously waiting for your call and msg..

like as if i don't have my own friends?
Ya they did ask me out and i turned them away,
hoping i could go out with you..

but NO.

You tell me you love me, you say that you need me
but i seriously dont feel it...

But after it all...replies..your voice...

2009-07-11T12:13:00.000+08:00

please call me soon,
please don't waste my weekend away.

2009-07-10T22:48:00.001+08:00

There was so much anger and sadness in me,
until i heard your voice. It soothed me.
You're my angel, my all.

2009-07-08T15:30:00.003+08:00

it's hard to talk to you,
and even harder seeing you...

my book out timings are always screwed.
you needa be home early.

i thought i could fetch you from sch.
i thought i could hold your hand and ask you to be mine.
i thought it would be a happy evening.
i thought my off day wouldnt be gone to waste.
i thought i thought...

i hope i'll never have to say "i thought i loved you. "

nevertheless i love you, always.

2009-07-05T21:22:00.003+08:00

2009-07-03T23:53:00.003+08:00

i realised.

Never once did you say you love me.
Never once did you really say you missed me.

Whenever i say i love you, all you do is laugh it off.
You don't tell me anything. I don't know anything either.

i like you, i really do.
It can't end this way, i won't let it.

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me, This pain I'm going through

Please forgive me If I need ya like I do
Please believe me Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

2009-07-03T02:32:00.001+08:00

Silent On The Outside...: Your Silence hides a lot of your unhappiness with what's around you. You've suffered a great great loss and as such, while others might catch you laughing and smiling from time to time, you have alot of hatred for their happiness. You just want to be happy again.

2009-07-02T00:17:00.001+08:00

PS you're a motherfuckin asshole, seriously.

Done with ATEC stage 1.. another sun tanning and mosquito feeding session..
oh and ya. we got busted by the battalion. WELL DONE GUYS.

2009-06-24T11:21:00.001+08:00

cb. T.O.P from Big Bang is damn shuai..

2009-06-22T01:53:00.002+08:00

these few weeks has been hectic... guard duties and all.
AND weird.

mum's birthday, father's day...
Dad's up to something, think he wants to come back,
he bought mum a necklace with a $700+ price tag,
and he complains that the shoes i requests are ex.. it's only like 100+, hello?

so he bought mum out to buy that necklace and he came back a few times when im not around..
asked mum bought this and that search my place.. and today was father's day, he brought my mum my brother and i out to eat, it feels really awkward, really. And then to grandma's place.

i went up first met granny and everyone else, first thing grannys asked "where's dad? is mum here?" oh gosh. "ya they're downstairs, it's really weird, really." My aunt and granny all laughed at me and told me to eat some durains hahah.. so i went on and hid in my cousin's room. They all came up awhile later..

Mummy seemed welcomed.. granny and the aunts all spoke to her bla bla bla.. and she complains they hate her, wth.

moving on, we came back. dad came up too... i went to take a shower and when i came out, holy shit, what did i see? Dad was holding mum.. gosh.. i wanted to kill myself.

2009-06-12T13:42:00.001+08:00

Number 1 song on my iTunes.

Here's the lyrics in english. Pretty much like what im going through.

Yeah!
(Love is pain)
Dedicated to my broken-heart'ed people
One's old a flame
(Yeah)
Just scream my name
(Damn)
And I'm so sick of love song (song)
Yeah, I hate damn love song (song)
Momento of ours

Gojimar!

The nights late and rain has just started to come down
I curse you back into my memories and now
No more options are left for me to go
I told myself I didn't need your bull and so
More hatred submerges my flow
So tightly my handgun chooses to blow
It's bull; no person has hurt me like you
And so forget about the hurtful past (Got cheated, ya)

No happiness can be found in within my heart
Got me crying softly in the rain
Got me hurting like a sharp pain

Yeah you got me, you bat me
Even then it wasn't enough for you to hurt me
You always hated me, You always wanted me
More or so you knew, I'll be right there

I'm so sorry but I love you like a damn fool
Even if you lied to me there's always forgiveness
I'm so sorry but I love you more than ever
Hand me your cruel and bloody heart
Now tear apart our memories
I'm so sorry but I love you like a damn fool
I'm so sorry (I'm sorry)
But I love you (I love you more, more)
I'm so sorry but I love you not like your lies
Tone down my empty broken heart
Now give me what I really want

Dedicate this song to you cause I know you feel there ain't no way (no way)
(No ones gonna know this song's meaning)
By myself, alone I'll be the one who knows this song's heart
Couldn't ever hold on more to gold and name

Holler over, get yourself cover
Found a letter, ain't made me feel better
Our breakup notice darkened my solace
So tell me what should I do to forget?
(More than ever, I cannot just let you go)
No, that's just cheating; since I'm clinging, you 'outta feel guilty

I'm so sorry but I love you like a damn fool
Even if you lied to me there's always forgiveness
I'm so sorry but I love you more than ever
Hand me your cruel and bloody heart
Now tear apart our memories
I'm so sorry but I love you like a damn fool
I'm so sorry (I'm sorry)
But I love you (I love you more, more)
I'm so sorry but I love you not like your lies
Tone down my empty broken heart
Now give me what I really want

You said we could make it
But it was just another lie you sold
(DROP THAT BIT)
I can't forget you, my baby
Even after all your those lies you're still a part of me yeah
I hope the scars that I gave you when we split will have healed
I'm am so sorry I didn't give you much more hey

I'm so sorry but I love you like a damn fool
Even if you lied to me there's always forgiveness
I'm so sorry but I love you more than ever
Hand me your cruel and bloody heart
Now tear apart our memories
I'm so sorry but I love you like a damn fool
I'm so sorry (I'm sorry)
But I love you (I love you more, more)
I'm so sorry but I love you not like your lies
Tone down my empty broken heart
Now give me what I really want

2009-06-12T01:29:00.002+08:00

It's funny when you have a blog.

Sometimes you wna blog your heart out and other times you just feel plain lazy to do it.

Sometimes you blog bout something you wna tell a person so much but cant find the courage to do so and pray really really hard that that special person would just pop by and read it and sometimes you wish they didnt either and some other times, somebody else pops by.. take a look and asks lotsa stuff.

it's funny too when you read the posts from the past, some makes you you feel really damn lucky, sad, feel like crying, pissed or just plain stupid.. for me it kinda brings me back to that exact spot and time which that incident occured.

2009-05-25T17:42:00.001+08:00

Bought new shoes. forgot to take photos of it before it debut ): got scarred already.

2009-05-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

uh.. oh. ya.
was thinking there was something on, on saturday couldnt rmb until i went to marina square's mac and saw red bull x-fighters. yup 7pm tonight. at sg flyer.

AND DAMMIT! im supposed to send stuff to karel.. keep forgetting -____-

2009-05-10T01:41:00.001+08:00

there's something bout the city that i like so much.
Especially at night, the serenity, the buildings.
So...

2009-05-09T19:33:00.004+08:00

im bored.
want to go out, dont know here to go.
nobody to go out with.

2009-05-08T16:52:00.003+08:00

ok so it was gab chen's birthday yesterday.
havent seen him since a long time, but anyways here's a short intro bout him.

He was my junior back in secondary school we were both in scouts, he's really big size..dun needa elaborate bout that part, he's a really cool guy but well the world's a cruel place.. he likes girls but well, girls look at him and well we all know what happens next, run away, break his heart, cheat his feelings and lotsa other bull shit, he and i, we both have something in common, our love life sucks.

um oh ya we were at vivo city and we had no idea what to eat i withdrew cash and walked towards vivo and i happened to see this wall which was a directory of all the food outlets there is in vivo city, so as the birthday boy was choosing one out of like 1284581624 choices i saw "go india" so i said EH LET'S GO INDIA! so mango looked at me and showed me the way they eat and started speaking in an indian accent "dey i tell you, the indians are the rudest people ever, they scold people and scold people at the same time" and started doing that action and said "look look im eating, fuck you." and we all broke out in laughter everone was looking at us, but who cares what people think? we're out to enjoy and nobody's gna stop us.

oh guess what, i brought the camera out left it in mango's pocket and forgot to take photos. wth.

2009-05-05T21:20:00.004+08:00

i remember clearly what you said can... this msg is still bloody in my phone,
"oh i got school the next day".

and guess what i saw on FACEBOOK you and you boyfriend so happily together with his bunch or driver friends(:

3 fucking times or maybe 4 "where's my present" now's my turn. YOU'RE FUCKIN IRRITATING YA?! I pity the people around you especially your mum, she has to put up with all your shit all these years and your boyfriend OH MY GOD! it makes my feel dumb retarded or whatever word is appropriate...

2009-05-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

ok 2 reasons why i uploaded this...

1st thing. i admire the trust and faith the "spotter" have in the shooter. and letting someone shoot on yout shoulder, right beside your ear, it's bleedin loud i tell ya. better have some bad ass ear plugs plugged in.

2nd. LOOK AT THAT RIFLE! WHY CANT WE HAVE THAT?! WHY MUST MY BATTALION DISBAND ALL THE MARKSMEN TEAM?! BLOODY PUT JUNWEI AND I THROUGH A BLOODT SHITLOAD OF PAIN! GRRRRRR!

2009-05-04T12:21:00.002+08:00

oh and that keychain isint taurus.. my bad.
i asked the ladies which horoscope did april 19th belong to, and she flipped open a book and told me just 3 letter chinese name which had 'cow' in it and i seriously had no idea what was it in english so i thought it was taurus and i just said "OK! gimme that one".